I can't get enough of....

MY BABIES!!!

Here are some pictures I took of them today (clothed) and played around with editing.. I really like this "dusk" look.. well, they aren't professional, just took here at the house, but I want to capture every minute of them. 

I hope you enjoy, if not, I will. :)

 

**Ooops, maybe Courtlynn doesn't have a shirt on yet in this picture.. My bad! 2 out of 3 ain't bad :)**

 

Rice Box Photography: The Searching Continues...

We went and looked at a commercial spot yesterday. It was PERFECT in every way, except..... THE PRICE! BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually, it was a wonderful price for the space, IF you could afford it! <<<<---- Not me!

So, we continue to look. We are going to go to Rockwall today and maybe find a place there. I know what I want, I have a vision, I just have to find it!

Anybody have a rich relative that wants to invest in a new business? No, well, I thought I would try..

Until next time....

Wow, What a Morning...

2:00 am.... Greg is flipping and flopping in the bed and wakes me up... "Go check your blood suger." (we went through this the night before btw!!) Of course, it was low. Nothing a little DP and a poptart won't  fix...

2:15 am.... Back in bed...

3:30 am.... I'm up.. throwing up.. BLAH... **sorry, I know, mental picture**

between 3:30 and 6:30 up 3 times to get sick!

6:45 am.... Courtlynn wakes me up

7:45 am... (this is where it gets REALLY good, blah)... I smell something.. It's hidious! I try looking for the dog, because she's the ONLY one in the house that can make that kinda smell. She's in Braxton's room (side note: it's so cute, she doesn't leave his side here lately. His little guard dog!!).. I look high and low and even in the play cottage for poo.. NOWHERE.. Then, from my sweet little boy, who is still in bed, I hear, "Poo Poo, ewww" I go over to his bed and the smell hits me like a ton of bricks and his hands have dried poo on them.. Okay, I'll skip the rest (it was GREAT!!) and just say that he went straight to the bath. THIS is how my morning is going.. but hey, at least Emma slept until 9:20 and the girls are being good..

Here is Mr. B after I got his hands washed up, right before the diaper change, and shortly before the bath!

 

**Look how happy he looks of himself**

And this is how I found my sweet girls after B's bath.. aren't they so flippin cute!?!?!?! (btw, Corina, if you are reading this, I have Kaylee's pillow and blanket!!)

**See they love each other, every once in a while**

Another side note: I promise my children aren't always naked! Looking back on the last couple of posts, they are half clothed! They like sleeping without shirts on, and sometimes most of the time, I just let them stay like that if we aren't going anywhere.. Hey, don't judge, it saves on laundry! :)

Have a bless day!

My Crazies...

This is what I have seen already this morning.. I LOVE them!!

She said that she wanted to look like Mommy! Hahaha!!

 

 

Yes, I have more than 1 sleeping mask! You never know when you might loose one!

Happy boy riding on his toy that his Moses got Emma for her first birthday!

 

SERIOUSLY, could he get any cuter!!

 

Watching Toy Story on Mommy and Daddy's bed.

"I wanna be like a Daddy!"

I'm sure this won't be my only post today, but I wanted to share what my morning has been so far today (and I've only been up 2 1/2 hours!!).

Some Once Told Me...

... there are no such things as coincidences!!

Over the past 6-8 months I have really come to realize that is so true; there are only moments in your life that God is getting you ready for something bigger.

With that said, here is what I have gone through the past 6-8 months that have led me to where I am....

1: Back in January/February I was approached 2 different times in one day asking if I was going on the Ecuador mission trip that was to take place in June. I had not given much thought to it AT ALL. I could not afford the trip, but obviously God was telling me that I'm supposed to go... that leads to...
2: February we get our tax return back... I have the money to go...
3: I start preparing for the trip, reading scripture, talking to God...
4: I go on the trip... WOW! I have never been closer to God, I have never understood Him more clearly. I have never opened my Bible this much, I have never studied this much. I am on a spiritual HIGH!
5: I get home, I'm still on this high. My husband and I go and buy devotional books and start doing individual devotions in the morning and then 2 different devotions together at night.. We are so close to God
6: 2 weeks after I return, I'm still on this high, God is preparing me for something....
7: 2 weeks and 2 days after I get back from my trip, Branson passes away.. had I not been so in tune with God, had I not listened to Him and gone to Ecuador, had I not gotten into the Word, had I not put every ounce of faith in my Lord, would I have been able to get through that day? Would I have been able to get through a week? Would I have been able to get through, now, a month? NO.. No coincidences!

Now I was faced to find another way to make money (not being able to watch children from my home until the toxicology reports come back and the investigation is complete)... Again, no coincidences...

1: About 4 years ago, I started making bows for my little girl that had just been born, Emma. I was good at it and thought I would make money with that... FAIL..
2: About 3 years ago, I asked for a sewing machine and started making little girls clothes for Emma. I was good at that too, so I tried selling them... FAIL...
3: I started watching kiddos from home and LOVED working with kids
4: I followed through with a high school dream and bought a camera 2 days before Branson passed away. I took some pictures the next day, and the next day, he passed.
5: I'm' not able to watch kiddos, for now...
6: I don't think it's coincidence that I bought that camera 2 days before he passed, I don't think it's coincidence that I took his picture the day before he passed, I don't think that it's coincidence that I have learned skills (sewing, making bows, crafting, etc) that could help with photography props, and I don't think it's coincidence that I worked with children watching them in my home for the past 3 years and in day cares for 3 years where I have gotten use to working with them. God knew what he was doing! **DUH** I know can still work with children, I can do what I have ALWAYS wanted to do and do photography, and I can help provide for my family while staying home with my children. Isn't God amazing?!?!?


So, I have started Rice Box Photography... already I have done 3 children's shoots and 1 maternity shoot. I have 3 weddings, a 1 yr bday shoot, a bridal shoot, and an engagement shoot lined up. God is blessing this business already. I have talked with my husband and I would LOVE to be able to get a grant and open a studio where I could specialize in child/newborn photographs. We are praying about that and looking into it. If it's in God's will, it will be done. I'm soooo excited that my life has taken this turn (I would have maybe changed the way it got here, but hey). I really feel that I'm no longer in control of my life, God is. I feel open, excited, new, STRONG!

Thank you AGAIN for all the prayers, you guys are amazing!! Please continue to pray. Pray for continued healing for the Brannon family and for myself. Pray for this business and that if it's God's will. Pray for guidance for our family, and, please, THANK God everyday for a new day and what you have!

God bless,

April



I'll leave you with a college of some of the shoots I've been doing..

A New Beginning.. A New Normal

So, 2 more weeks have gone by.. I've had time to think, pray, and try to get back to normal. I have come to realize that there has to be a NEW normal. My new normal consists of having 3 children at my house instead of 7. My new normal is not being able to just go to the grocery store and buy whatever I need without thinking about money. My new normal is spending more time with MY kids. My new normal is living today because I do not know what God has in store for me tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone that has been praying for me and has given me encouraging words over the past 4 weeks. It has truly touched me.

2 Weeks Have Gone By

I know, it has been almost exactly 4 months since I posted last. Time seems to get away from me and before I know it, another day has gone. The last time I posted was about my grandmother, Grammie, and her passing. This time, I'm writing about another life changing event. I have had alot of prayer worriers out there and alot of people "out of the loop." I don't know how else to express what has happened to me except to tell the story...

2 weeks ago today, any other normal day. 7:45 the Brannon kiddos (Stetson (5), Kinlee (22mo), and Branson (9mo)) were dropped off. I gave Branson a bottle at 8:00 and started my day. The kiddos were playing good in the playroom, I was getting some stuff done, and Branson and Kinlee were playing in the living room (sometimes Branson would make his way to my feet and I would have to bring him back and give him a toy to distract him for like 2.5 seconds). 9:15 the baby started getting cranky, wrapped him in his blanket, gave him a "good night" kiss, and layed him down for nap. I went about the afternoon. Lunch for Kinlee and Braxton at 10:30, nap for them at 11:00, lunch for Stetson, Emma, and Courtlynn at 11:30, nap for them at 12:00. Britni, the mom, was going to be at the house at 1:00 to get the kiddos (Stetson had to get his cast off) so I went and warmed Branson's bottle, got 2 diapers ready, one for him and one for Kinlee, went and woke Kinlee up and sent her to the living room, and then went to get Branson. THIS is where my life changed. He was not breathing. I panicked, my heart was beating 100mph, tears ran down my face. I wanted to wake up, I wanted him to wake up. This COULD NOT be happening. My sweet little boy. My sweet smiley, happy boy. I had to keep the other kids away, I yelled for them to get into the living room and into their bedrooms. I screamed at the 911 operator, WHERE ARE THE PARAMEDICS!?!? The paramedics came, I called the mom, I called my mom, I called Greg, I called Brenda, I called everyone that I could think of. I needed people here for me, for my kids, for the other kids. Police got to the house. I was told to go into Emma and Courtlynn's room. I had to take the other 5 kids and the dog in there with me. I sat, I waited 3 hours, not able to come out of my room, not knowing what was going on in my house, trying to keep it together for the kids, being asked for statements, clip boards thrown at me, ALL while morning the loss of my little boy! My mom, dad, mother inlaw, brother inlaw, and husband all outside not able to get in, me not able to get out. A criminal. Guilty until proven innocent. Finally, the kids and I were released to go outside to my awaiting family. I crumbled when I saw them. We were asked to leave the house for a few hours while they did the investigation on the house. Kinlee and Stetson were picked up by a friend of the family and it took everything I had to let them go. I wanted them to stay with me. I wanted to hold Stetson some more and tell him everything was going to be alright. I quick kiss and hug from Kinlee and a "I love you Miss April" from Stetson and they were gone too. The investigators took my phone and we went to mama and daddy's house. There we were greeted by 2 of our pastors from our church and they prayed over us and the Brannon family. We got home and realized that they had taken all of our bedding, my phone, and some of his stuff. I broke down again. I could not imagine anyone going through all of this without knowing the Lord. It's only through Him that I got through Tuesday June 12th!

June 13th, I realized that I needed to get out of the house. We headed for the bank to withdraw some cash. When I got back to the van, Greg was on the phone with his mom. CPS was at my house. My stomach dropped. First thing that popped into my head, "I'm innocent, not my babies too!" We got to the house and they talked with us for 4 hours. They said that what they saw, I was not a threat to the baby and they were able to leave my children in my custody. THANK YOU GOD! That night was the 2nd worse night of my life. I had nightmares, visions, anxiety, I couldn't sleep, I shook, I cried, I missed him.

June 14th, I had another meeting with church staff. Sunday school people took my kids that day so that Greg and I could get away for a bit. If I stay busy, I don't think. We were in Mardel, I don't know why, but came across a plaque that was Matthew 11:28. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" I KNEW I needed to get it for Britni, yet it gave me hope too. Right then, Britni texted and said that she wanted to meet with us and get some of the kids stuff from the house. We met her at her house with the kids stuff and gave her the plaque, and she gave me so much more. She looked me square in the face and said, "It's not your fault, you didn't do anything." Tears flooded me. Relief washed over me. How could this mother be so forgiving so quickly. ONLY through God could she have done that. I was able to see Stetson and Kinlee for a little while and was greeted at the door with hugs and kisses from Kinlee and a "Miss April!!" from Stetson. That night, even though alot had been lifted off of me, the nightmares came.

Saturday June 16th I went and talked with a counselor and at 10:30 was the memorial service. I was so honored to have the photo that I had taken of Branson the day before he passed away on display first thing when you came in the door. His big blue eyes smiling at me. I miss those eyes, I miss that crinkled smile, I miss telling him "No, No" when he started to get into the fireplace, I miss having to watch my every step so I wouldn't step on him. 

The days are going by, it doesn't feel like 2 weeks. It gets easier as the days go, but then all of a sudden I feel empty again. I'm trying to stay strong for my family. My kids need me, my husband needs me, but sometimes I'm dying inside. Sometimes I'm reliving the day over and over again in my head. I keep smiling, I keep trusting in the Lord.

Thank you to everyone that has been praying for my family and the Brannon family. Thank you to everyone that brought me a meal, that has helped over these last 2 weeks, and have loved on me. Please, don't stop the prayers because I look fine on the outside, because sometimes I'm crying on the inside.

God bless you,

April